


Your Hand was Looking Heavy (Mind if I hold it for you?)

by jomlette



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Flirting, Comedy, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Ouran High School Host Club AU, Pick Up Lines, Pining Lance (Voltron), Second-Hand Embarrassment, for the 2017 klance holiday exchange, kind of, the gang is all here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 22:25:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13086660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jomlette/pseuds/jomlette
Summary: Pidge takes the empty seat across from him, and he can’t help but feel like he’s talking to a therapist. Like he’s about to be told bad news. She has that effect on people.“You haven’t named a certain person.”“Who?”“Does ‘mullet so fine I wanna make him mine just so that I can cut it off and end his oblivious adorable misery’ ring a bell?”Lance nearly disintegrates, but manages to contain himself and put on a poker face. The look of amusement on Pidge’s face tells him he failed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”





	Your Hand was Looking Heavy (Mind if I hold it for you?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malevelynce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malevelynce/gifts).



> This was done for the 2017 Klance Holiday Exchange, for tumblr user @twohundrednine. I totally didn't spend 2 hours looking up pick up lines I have no idea what you're talking about.

“Excuse me, do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your gorgeous eyes.”

The girl and her friends sitting across from him giggle and blush, as Lance flashes them his best smile. One of the many wonders of being the most popular host, all the beautiful ladies keep coming. All the attention boosts his ego more than he’d like to admit. One of them brings out a small bag, nicely kept together by a pink bow. 

“I baked this for you, just as a thanks for sitting down with us.” She said, shyly.

Lance readily accepts the gift, unwraps it and to his delight it was double chocolate chip. He takes a bite out of one, never taking his eyes off the nervous girl.

“Thank you,” he smiles, “It’s sweet, just like you.”

Lance waves them off as they get up and leave. A tap on his shoulder makes him turn around, and he’s greeted by Pidge’s disgruntled look. She thrusts the clipboard into his face.

“How many times do I have to tell you? Thirty minutes, Lance. Thirty. Minutes. If you keep running past schedule like this we’ll lose money…..are you even listening? Stop ogling the line up!” Lance barely dodges her arm, and he laughs.

“How can you be so cold? Maybe that’s why you’re on the bottom of our popularity poll. Even Allura’s more popular than you, and she’s not even a host!”

“Oh shut it. The only reason I’m even doing this is because you begged me into joining your dumb host club.” Pidge is successful in hitting Lance the second time. “Anyways, smacking you isn’t the reason I came over here, but it is a nice bonus.” Lance pouts. She smirks. “I came to tell you the results of our latest popularity poll.”

That certainly catches his attention. “Let me guess, Lancey Lance is at the top, a-gain!”

Lance does a pose, and waits for Pidge to confirm his statement, perhaps join him in his manly posing (“No Hunk, they’re not stupid, they are perfectly awesome and inspiring...NO I didn’t just copy Sailor Moon!”). There’s a pause that’s a tad too long, his smile wavering a bit. 

Finally, the smaller girl adjusts her glasses. “Sorry King, but you’ve been dethroned.” She doesn’t seem sorry at all, Lance thinks.

“Wha--- by who? Is it Shiro? He’s nothing but cheap beef, I can’t believe it.”

“Um, I’m gonna pretend I  _ never  _ heard that come out of your mouth, and no.”

“Hunk? Damn, I should’ve listened to his advice on baking, everyone loves a man who can cook.”

“Nope.”

“Hold on a tic…..it’s you isn’t it!”

“How the hell did you come to that conclusion?” She deadpans.

“Well who else could it be? I’ve named off everybody.” Lance huffed. 

Pidge takes the empty seat across from him, and he can’t help but feel like he’s talking to a therapist. Like he’s about to be told bad news. She has that effect on people.

“You haven’t named a certain person.”

“Who?”

“Does ‘mullet so fine I wanna make him mine just so that I can cut it off and end his oblivious adorable misery’ ring a bell?”

Lance nearly disintegrates, but manages to contain himself and put on a poker face. The look of amusement on Pidge’s face tells him he failed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She ignores his defense and reads the sheet on her clipboard. “Over the course of the two weeks since Keith has joined our club, he managed to boost our profits up tremendously. I’d say that his customer count currently is nearly  _ triple _ what it was just a week ago, and it’s about, er, let’s see…. _ mountains  _ higher than yours.”

Lance slowly curls himself against his chair, lowering his head onto the table. His groan of “How the fuck is Keith beating me” does not go unnoticed by the brunette across from him. She snickers, gets up, and pats him on the head.

“Here, since I’m such an amazing friend, I’ll help you out. The next popularity poll is in about a week and a half. Maybe you can put your pick up lines to good use until then.” 

A moment passes before Pidge calls the next group of girls over to his table, and by then he’s picked his head up, smacked himself to wake up, and formulated a plan.

-

Keith Kogane was a peculiar person.

Even though it was the twenty first century, he still styles his hair into mullet. Lance could never catch him wearing something extravagant, always opting for simple jeans, either worn out sneakers or rugged looking boots, and an oversized varsity jacket with a black tee underneath. What the hell. Keith wasn’t even in any sports team, as far as he knew. What a weirdo.

Despite the regular attire, he managed to make it look  _ damn good _ . And Lance meant that in a completely one hundred percent homosexual way.

Yes, although it was shocking, Lance Mcclain was indeed attracted to guys and girls. It was just that Altea High was severely lacking in men that he was attracted to. Well, minus Shiro, but all that short lasting fatuation got him was an awkward rejection that only the famous Takashi Shirogane could make somewhat cool, while also giving Lance second hand embarrassment.  _ He went in for a fucking handshake, _ for goodness sake. 

His cringe inducing experiences aside, he can admit that Keith was easy on the eyes. But they hadn’t spoken a word to another. Like at all. The only reason he was in Lance’s club in the first place was because he made the dumb decision on telling Pidge about his gay little secret. Lo and behold, the next day she was dragging the poor boy into the club room.

Lance doesn’t tell Pidge his secrets anymore. 

That honor is now exclusively Hunk’s.

In order to rise the ranks and become king again, he decides to stick to what he knows best, and that, was his classic pick up lines. 

There’s absolutely no way his plan could fail. 

-

“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I can’t help but smile.”

Good. The girls are laughing. Everything was going according to plan so far. Lance wrote down all his best one liners and managed to memorize them over the course of an evening. Now he’s got over fifty lines in backup. Just for insurance, he even went to the gym the night before, and worked his butt off. Now, he felt like a bodybuilder (“You do know it takes about four weeks of regulated intense exercise before you start to see physical results, right?” “Shut it Shiro, you’re ruining my good vibes.”). 

Keeping track of the girls that came and went, Lance counted nineteen girls total he’s gotten. That’s a new record! He gives himself the luxury to look around the club room. Shiro and Hunk’s lines are impressive, but not as extensive as his own. Pidge isn’t even sitting at her table anymore, opting to talk with Allura, their student manager, who gets the occasional stray girl here and there. Lance files a reminder away to talk with Allura into becoming an actual host. 

And then there was Keith.

The boy was slouching in his chair, appearing to be listening casually to the two girls currently seated at his table. Nothing looked out of the ordinary looked to be happening. The girls could be talking about blowing up the school for all he knew, but Keith managed to hold his neutral borderline resting bitch face for who knows how long. And for some reason the girls didn’t even look fazed. Lance could think of another reason why Pidge wasn’t popular, and that was the fact that she didn’t smile at the guests too often (he theorized that she may be doing this on purpose, however his point still stands!). 

But for Keith? It completely worked to his advantage. Lance will never understand the bad boy trend.

By the time his line thinned out, Keith still had several more customers to go. Now was the time to strike.

Taking those steps forward felt exhilarating yet dreadful, like how one would feel waiting in the line of the biggest roller coaster in an amusement park. Except that amusement park was the host club, the line was the approximate 15 feet gap between their tables, and Keith was the ride. 

Okay, he had to admit, that was not the best of analogies, but he was already at the head of the table there’s no time to take it back!

Lance catches the attention of the girl near the front, and shows off his dazzling smile.

“Oh, sorry for cutting you off,” he apologizes, “I don’t mean to be rude, but are you French? Because maDAMN, you’re looking so beautiful today.” He throws in a little wink and that was all it took to fluster the girl and the two behind her. A short cough cuts him off.

“Excuse me, but do you need something?”

_ Yeah, I need you to take me out for dinner _ , Lance catches himself thinking and nearly doubles over because of it. This was probably the first time he’s heard Keith’s voice so clearly. It was surprisingly deep, rough as he expected, but somehow had kept a boyish tone. His feet force themselves to turn around and face the source of the question. 

“Um, yes actually,” he starts, and stops. Crap, what was he gonna say? Think Lance think!

“I was gonna….”  _ beat your ass out of that popularity throne. Show you how amazing I am. Ask you out on a date.   _ “..beat your ass on an amazing date!”

“What?”

“UH.”

“Hahaha, oh my gosh, I can’t believe he---mphf!”

“Shhh, not now Pidge.”

Lance wished God would strike him dead then and there. “Err, what I meant to say was teach you how to talk to the ladies!” He broadens his shoulders and uses his suave voice. “That was an example of what  _ not _ to say, of course.”

Thank the heavens, Keith didn’t call him out on his obvious bullshit and merely raised an eyebrow. His lack of verbal response urged Lance to continue.

“The first thing you should know how to do, is make pickup lines on the spot. Here, an example.” He turns toward the group of girls still hanging around, probably to see what would become of the impromptu lesson. “Better sit down ladies, this may be a while. Don’t try to decline, I know you’re all tired because you’ve all been running through my mind all day.”

As the girls chuckled, he turned back to Keith, honestly expecting the boy to be annoyed. To his surprise, he genuinely looked focused on the matter at hand.

“So.. you just say whatever’s on your mind?” He asks.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Lance answers. 

Keith stands up and walks around the table. Lance expects him to choose one of the girls sitting a bit away from them, but instead he stops right in front of him, looking him dead in the eye. A silence that was probably a few milliseconds too long to not be awkward followed. Before he can ask what he’s doing, Keith shifts his weight to one foot, puts his hand on his hip, mirroring Lance, and spoke in a voice smoother than Allura and Hunk’s homemade pudding.

“Have we met before?”

“Up until now? Er, no?”

“Are you sure? I think we have chemistry together.”

“We----wait.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that Hunk still owed him twenty five dollars, he probably would’ve let himself drop dead right then and there.

“Sorry, sorry, I know that was bad. Ummm, you’re so hot you’d make Satan sweat!”

First bullet.

“If I had a star for every time I thought of you, I’d be holding the entire galaxy in my hands.”

Second bullet.

“Did you see how cloudy it was today? No wonder the skies were gray, all the blue was in your eyes.”

Third bullet, right through the damn heart.

Lance could no longer hear Pidge’s cackles, Hunk’s cheers, Shiro and Allura’s muffled laughing, or the group of girls squealing. All he could think about was the fact that  _ Keith was saying what was on his mind.  _

Okay. Time to throw some bullets of his own.

“Figures, you definitely need some practice.” He paces slowly around Keith like a predator, as if his brains weren’t melting out of his ears seconds ago. “Saturday, the diner across from the theatre. Be there noon and maybe I’ll give you some extra lessons.” Just for insurance, he ends his line by cupping the shorter boy’s chin with his hand. “How does that sound?”

Keith, darling, stunning Keith, doesn’t even blink. “It’s a date.”

Lance tries not to burn tomato red, but Keith’s slight head tilt and the ooo’s coming from the gang tells him he failed. 

**Author's Note:**

> On that date, Keith brought a notebook, pen, and recording tape. Lance was devastated.


End file.
